I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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