who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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