Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
