There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Panties = found
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