I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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