its not stalking. its research.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
