Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
so much tequila, so little girl.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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