Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize