Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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