theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
