yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
