I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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