we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
