This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
