No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
