where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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