How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
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