so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
