Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
