I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
