My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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