I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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