there's paper in my vomit.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
