Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I hate all girls vehemently.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
