I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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