I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
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we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
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And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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