Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
