I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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