I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
