Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
