my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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