I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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