id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
