no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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