I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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