At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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