Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
