You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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