I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
