and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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