Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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