Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
