Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
