Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
