at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
