I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
