so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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