forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
