I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
