how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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