That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
