I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
