very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
