Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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