Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
