OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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