filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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