Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
