i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
