It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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