Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
