So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
