I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
