It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
