Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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