he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
3pm strippers are depressing
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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