You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
