My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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