Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
